Je ne suis plus effrayée par le nouvel an. C'est la renaissance d'une vie qui était tombée dans la décrépitude.C'est un choix vivante: tu vive ou tu mort, physiquement, intellectuellement, et tous ça.L'année 2009 a eu beaucoup de contradictions: la naissance de ma fille, Wethu, en même temps que j'ai tombée définitivement, pas décisivement, dans la incertitude et la soi déchéance. Maintenant, j'attends avec impatience à la renaissance de ma vie, mon esprit, tous l'être. I'm no longer frightened by the new year. It's the rebirth of a life that had fallen into decrepitude. It's a vibrant choice: you live or you die, physically, mentally and all that. The year 2009 had a lot of contradictions: the birth of my daughter, Wethu, at the same time I fell soundly, though not conclusively, into incertitude and self neglect. Now I'm looking to the new year with impatience, eager to witness and experience the renaissance of my life, my mind, my being. 
12.30.2009
Les Résolutions du Nouvel An || Part 3
Je ne suis plus effrayée par le nouvel an. C'est la renaissance d'une vie qui était tombée dans la décrépitude.C'est un choix vivante: tu vive ou tu mort, physiquement, intellectuellement, et tous ça.L'année 2009 a eu beaucoup de contradictions: la naissance de ma fille, Wethu, en même temps que j'ai tombée définitivement, pas décisivement, dans la incertitude et la soi déchéance. Maintenant, j'attends avec impatience à la renaissance de ma vie, mon esprit, tous l'être. I'm no longer frightened by the new year. It's the rebirth of a life that had fallen into decrepitude. It's a vibrant choice: you live or you die, physically, mentally and all that. The year 2009 had a lot of contradictions: the birth of my daughter, Wethu, at the same time I fell soundly, though not conclusively, into incertitude and self neglect. Now I'm looking to the new year with impatience, eager to witness and experience the renaissance of my life, my mind, my being. 
Les Résolutions du Nouvel An || Part 2
This business of Resolutions.
Living each day as if it was your last is hard enough. Liberating yourself mentally, emotionally, and all that, just being without conforming to this or that stereotype or convention is hard enough. Thinking outside the box is hard enough.
Now these damned resolutions to make things harder than they already are.
Now i gotta think:
1. Learn to be patient.
2. Stop being an asshole.
3. Get some self confidence for Christ's sake.
4. God is watching you, even just now as you take His Son's, and hence His, name in vain.
And on and on it goes.
Haha, this is funny, but life is so much easier when you're an asshole. You think only about yourself. You complain to any and everyone dumb enough to listen. You talk like this. You have no ounce of self esteem, and go around criticising everyone you see because you can't stand your own self. Blah blah blah.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get it. What is it all about, this life? What is living? What is loving? What is being? If there is a school that teaches you to be a human being, human not just meaning that one has a heart that pumps blood into the mind, I need to be admitted. Heck, I need some kind of human rehabilitation clinic.
Somebody better teach me to love myself and others before I get too old to learn.
|tbc|
Living each day as if it was your last is hard enough. Liberating yourself mentally, emotionally, and all that, just being without conforming to this or that stereotype or convention is hard enough. Thinking outside the box is hard enough.
Now these damned resolutions to make things harder than they already are.
Now i gotta think:
1. Learn to be patient.
2. Stop being an asshole.
3. Get some self confidence for Christ's sake.
4. God is watching you, even just now as you take His Son's, and hence His, name in vain.
And on and on it goes.
Haha, this is funny, but life is so much easier when you're an asshole. You think only about yourself. You complain to any and everyone dumb enough to listen. You talk like this. You have no ounce of self esteem, and go around criticising everyone you see because you can't stand your own self. Blah blah blah.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get it. What is it all about, this life? What is living? What is loving? What is being? If there is a school that teaches you to be a human being, human not just meaning that one has a heart that pumps blood into the mind, I need to be admitted. Heck, I need some kind of human rehabilitation clinic.
Somebody better teach me to love myself and others before I get too old to learn.
|tbc|
12.27.2009
On est que des amis.
I have a big problem.
No, u don't understand.
J'ai un problème si ennuyant: des femmes garces.
Voila que j'ai un amant. Il est charmant et toutes les femmes, et les hommes, l'aime. Je suis l'official girl. Mais, le problème est quand j'ai eu des appels par des autres filles. C'est qui m'a rend le plus fâchée soit qu'elles n'essaient pas d'être subtile. You know?
Autrefois, je reçu des remarques si grossiers, par exemple:
--J'ai entendu qu'il a eu un bébé, est-ce que c'est vrai?
--Duh, with me! uh!
Je ne sais pas s'y prendre avec ses femmes. Normalement, je ne suis pas posée et je m'énerve. Je voudrais être cool sans les laisse s'en tirent comme ça.
What should i do?
No, u don't understand.
J'ai un problème si ennuyant: des femmes garces.
Voila que j'ai un amant. Il est charmant et toutes les femmes, et les hommes, l'aime. Je suis l'official girl. Mais, le problème est quand j'ai eu des appels par des autres filles. C'est qui m'a rend le plus fâchée soit qu'elles n'essaient pas d'être subtile. You know?
Autrefois, je reçu des remarques si grossiers, par exemple:
--J'ai entendu qu'il a eu un bébé, est-ce que c'est vrai?
--Duh, with me! uh!
Je ne sais pas s'y prendre avec ses femmes. Normalement, je ne suis pas posée et je m'énerve. Je voudrais être cool sans les laisse s'en tirent comme ça.
What should i do?
12.24.2009
Les Résolutions du Nouvel An
Je réfléchis sur l'importance, même bien sur la validité de prendre des [bonnes] résolutions chaque année. Il est déjà difficile à se discipliner pour des petites choses de la journée quotidienne comme manger bien ou se réveiller à l'heure. Ça montre que la changement positif n'est pas quelque chose qu'on peut considérer comme allant de soi.
C'est simple, si on veut changer, ou si on veut nous améliorer, il n'est pas nécessaire à attendre que l'année finit et une nouvelle année commence nouvellement frappé. Je sais bien, j'avais essayée pendant une dizaine d'années.
Alors, on nous prépare pour 2010. Franchement, il est impératif que je lâche des habitudes maux comme la paresse, la procrastination, le pessimisme, le naïveté entre d'autres. A l'autre coté, la confiance en soi, le sang-froid (surtout envers les hommes =] ), l'autodiscipline, l'amour de soi même, et la dynamisme positive.
(tbc)
C'est simple, si on veut changer, ou si on veut nous améliorer, il n'est pas nécessaire à attendre que l'année finit et une nouvelle année commence nouvellement frappé. Je sais bien, j'avais essayée pendant une dizaine d'années.
Alors, on nous prépare pour 2010. Franchement, il est impératif que je lâche des habitudes maux comme la paresse, la procrastination, le pessimisme, le naïveté entre d'autres. A l'autre coté, la confiance en soi, le sang-froid (surtout envers les hommes =] ), l'autodiscipline, l'amour de soi même, et la dynamisme positive.
(tbc)
12.22.2009
Simply Chic.
I met a Senegalese guy. He is hot.
If you're single, he's available =]
Rien de plus.
A propos de cet photo, quelle chic!
A demain.
Bisous.
If you're single, he's available =]
Rien de plus.
A propos de cet photo, quelle chic!
A demain.
Bisous.
Pendant Des Années
Je n'avais rien vu venir et mon cœur s'était complètement déglingué sur un quai de gare un dimanche soir. Je n'arrivais pas à me résoudre et je me cognais dans tout et n'importe quoi.
Les années qui sont suivi ne m'ont fait aucun effet. Certains jours je me surprenais à penser:
--Tiens? ... C'est bizarre ... Je crois que je n'ai pas pensé a lui hier...et au lieu de m'en féliciter, je me demandais comment c'était possible, comment j'avais réussi à vivre une journée entière sans penser a lui. Son prénom surtout m'obsédait. Et deux ou trois images d'elle très précises. Toujours les mêmes.
C'est vrai. J'ai posé les pieds par terre le matin, je me suis nourri, je me suis lavé, j'ai enfilé des vêtements sur moi et j'ai travaillé. Émotions: néant.
...
Un autre homme m'a rencontré. Un homme très différente est tombé amoureuse de moi, qui portait un autre prénom et qui avait décidé de faire de moi une femme entière. Sans me demander mon avis, il m'a remis aplomb et m'a épousé moins d'un an après notre premier baiser, échangé dans un ascenseur pendant un congrès.
Un homme inespéré. Il faut dire que j'avais si peur. Je n'y croyais et j'ai du le blesser souvent. Je caressais son ventre et mon esprit divaguait. Je soulevais ses cheveux et j'y cherchais une autre odeur. Il n'a jamais dit rien. Il savait que ma vie de fantôme ne ferait pas long feu. A cause de son rire, à cause de sa peau, et à cause de tout ce fatras d'amour élémentaire et désintéressé qu'il avait m'a donne. Il avait raison. M vie de fantôme m'a laissé vivre heureux.
...
Professionnellement, j'ai réussi mieux que je l'ai imaginé. Il faut croire que l'âpreté paye. Quand je lis mes relevés de banque aujourd'hui, je vois bien que la vie est une drôle de farceuse.
...
Jamais je ne me suis demandé si je l'aimais toujours ou quels étaient mes exacts sentiments à son égard. Ça n'aurait servi à rien. Mais j'aimais le retrouver au détour d'un moment de solitude. Je dois le dire parce que c'est la vérité. Heureusement pour moi, ma vie ne me lassait pas beaucoup de moments de solitude.
Et même si j'avais envie de me laisser aller à un gros coup de blues, de nostalgie, de prendre un ton badin par exemple et d'essayer à retrouver son numéro de téléphone par le minitel ou une autre ânerie de ce genre, je sais maintenant que c'est hors de question car depuis quelques années, j'ai de vrais garde-fous.
Les années qui sont suivi ne m'ont fait aucun effet. Certains jours je me surprenais à penser:
--Tiens? ... C'est bizarre ... Je crois que je n'ai pas pensé a lui hier...et au lieu de m'en féliciter, je me demandais comment c'était possible, comment j'avais réussi à vivre une journée entière sans penser a lui. Son prénom surtout m'obsédait. Et deux ou trois images d'elle très précises. Toujours les mêmes.
C'est vrai. J'ai posé les pieds par terre le matin, je me suis nourri, je me suis lavé, j'ai enfilé des vêtements sur moi et j'ai travaillé. Émotions: néant.
...
Un autre homme m'a rencontré. Un homme très différente est tombé amoureuse de moi, qui portait un autre prénom et qui avait décidé de faire de moi une femme entière. Sans me demander mon avis, il m'a remis aplomb et m'a épousé moins d'un an après notre premier baiser, échangé dans un ascenseur pendant un congrès.
Un homme inespéré. Il faut dire que j'avais si peur. Je n'y croyais et j'ai du le blesser souvent. Je caressais son ventre et mon esprit divaguait. Je soulevais ses cheveux et j'y cherchais une autre odeur. Il n'a jamais dit rien. Il savait que ma vie de fantôme ne ferait pas long feu. A cause de son rire, à cause de sa peau, et à cause de tout ce fatras d'amour élémentaire et désintéressé qu'il avait m'a donne. Il avait raison. M vie de fantôme m'a laissé vivre heureux.
...
Professionnellement, j'ai réussi mieux que je l'ai imaginé. Il faut croire que l'âpreté paye. Quand je lis mes relevés de banque aujourd'hui, je vois bien que la vie est une drôle de farceuse.
...
Jamais je ne me suis demandé si je l'aimais toujours ou quels étaient mes exacts sentiments à son égard. Ça n'aurait servi à rien. Mais j'aimais le retrouver au détour d'un moment de solitude. Je dois le dire parce que c'est la vérité. Heureusement pour moi, ma vie ne me lassait pas beaucoup de moments de solitude.
Et même si j'avais envie de me laisser aller à un gros coup de blues, de nostalgie, de prendre un ton badin par exemple et d'essayer à retrouver son numéro de téléphone par le minitel ou une autre ânerie de ce genre, je sais maintenant que c'est hors de question car depuis quelques années, j'ai de vrais garde-fous.
12.21.2009
Introduction to Microeconomics
Source: HipHop Economics
It's all about the law of Supply and Demand
Prices are set by the Invisible Hand
A floor that's put on your product's price
I something that the consumer will find not nice.
If you raise your price when demand's elastic
Your revenue will drop and you'll go ballistic.
Get the same extra utility for each extra dollar,
The maximum utility is sure to follow.
Produce where price equals marginal cost,
If you don't you'll find your profits are lost.
Always think about cost, opportunity,
If not, you'll find you're hurting your community.
Think margin, think margin.
Monopolies set MR to marginal cost,
The result is that consumer surplus is lost,
Make sure your strategies are subgame perfect,
Plan your strategic interactions without defect.
Tax the inelastic, and you'll be hurtin'
Because you've created a large excess burden.
With positive externalities it's always wise
To encourage more production-subsidize.
A tarrif or a quote helps a few producers,
But consumers will always be the biggest losers.
Sometimes you gotta choose efficiency or fairness,
Ya need more than econ, Ya need awareness.
Think margin, think margin.
New York I Love You
Je pars en vacances ce vendredi prochain, précisément sur le jour de Noël. De 25 Décembre a 2 Janvier, je serai en New York, pour fêter l'anniversaire de mon amie Lebo, et puis le Noël et la bonne année.
Pendant des heures, je me sentais un peu tout seul, comme d'habitude, et des idées très bizarres (rétrospectivement) ont traversé mon esprit. Sur le point d'envoyer un email plus dérangeant et pleine de la haine et surtout déprimant, j'ai reçu une message qui m'inviter a loger la-bas depuis mon séjour.
Alors.
Je me sentais un peu plus mieux. En effet, l'air déprimant a instantanément disparu. Voila, je blog en Français!! Je me suis rappelée qu'être heureuse ou contente ne se fait pas sans effort. C'est premièrement un choix qu'on prend délibérément: Aujourd'hui, il sera un bon jour. Après, c'est une attitude courant a l'égard de la vie. Tu te souviens le film Les Choristes? | Action-Réaction | Donc, j'ai décidé encore un fois qu'a présent, tout va bien. La passe ne m'effrayent plus, la présent est a mois de faire quoique je veux, et l'avenir a pleine des possibilités.
12.18.2009
Des Rêves.
1. Rayban Ultra Wear
2. Un blazer Balmain.
3. Des Louboutins mignonnes.
4. Une Canon pour mes aventures comme styliste de mode.
5. Un chapeau Fedora.
6. Lola par Marc Jacobs
Parson's New School for Design
I just got myself on the list host of Parsons. I'm not planning on applying to design school, but i figure it would be interesting to find out how its like there and to hear about new and upcoming young designers.
Some of the work by students
12.17.2009
This is from Leonard's Facebook wall, and other thoughts.
Be courteous to all
But intimate with few
And let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
I took time today doing something i've been meaning to do for the longest time - decluttering. I emptied my clothes' drawers and pulled out the riff raff, leaving the stuff i actually wear. Next, i packed up these in my suitcases, along with shoes, and removed those pieces i wanted to wear again. I reckon the next and final step is to donate these clothes to a woman's shelter, and hope they bring joy and comfort just as they did me.
Then came my shelves overflowing with all kinds of paper: receipts from my many shopping escapades that I'd named "retail therapy", letters from the bank, medical bills, addresses of friends and people i'm still planning to write, notes i'd written to myself during a meeting or a conference that i'd planned to reference to later but never got around, stubs from air tickets, etc. I stuffed all the unimportant papers in an old Pampers box, sorted the remaining into bills, important docs, school stuff, photographs, addresses i have to get back to, etc. All binded in one neat, compartmentalized folder. Ahhh. Done.
Now, i have to pay some bills, and set to draw up MY FIRST FUNCTIONAL BUDGET for the coming year. You know how it is, gotta make it a perfect '10 {^_^}
Now my mind feels more at ease, I feel more in control, I am more in control of this divergent life of mine. It's that time of my life when it's imperative that i draw some concrete life goals, and aim. You know what they say, if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. I found out these past three months that any road is unfulfilling, and comprises mostly of lazy nights spent on the couch watching the tv waiting for life to hit me with meaning and purpose.
I've also been subconsciously pondering this concept of self-love. It's consuming me, and of late iv'e come to the realization that i don't care very much for myself. In other words, i put a whole lot of other things before myself: instant gratification, my boyfriend/the idea of love, dreaming vs doing, laziness, and what not. I've been slacking, me who was so focused on what i wanted in life. It came as an epiphany that i really don't know myself that well. I'd never really sat and thought about what i really want in life, about who i was in terms of principles, the person i wanted to become, the virtues i wanted to emulate, etc. At some point, it all became very blasé.
The decluttering helped be get rid of the junk, evaluate what i have at present, what i need to do to make sure i start this reconstruction and refining of my life on a clean slate.
Until tomorrow, bisous.
But intimate with few
And let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
I took time today doing something i've been meaning to do for the longest time - decluttering. I emptied my clothes' drawers and pulled out the riff raff, leaving the stuff i actually wear. Next, i packed up these in my suitcases, along with shoes, and removed those pieces i wanted to wear again. I reckon the next and final step is to donate these clothes to a woman's shelter, and hope they bring joy and comfort just as they did me.
Then came my shelves overflowing with all kinds of paper: receipts from my many shopping escapades that I'd named "retail therapy", letters from the bank, medical bills, addresses of friends and people i'm still planning to write, notes i'd written to myself during a meeting or a conference that i'd planned to reference to later but never got around, stubs from air tickets, etc. I stuffed all the unimportant papers in an old Pampers box, sorted the remaining into bills, important docs, school stuff, photographs, addresses i have to get back to, etc. All binded in one neat, compartmentalized folder. Ahhh. Done.
Now, i have to pay some bills, and set to draw up MY FIRST FUNCTIONAL BUDGET for the coming year. You know how it is, gotta make it a perfect '10 {^_^}
Now my mind feels more at ease, I feel more in control, I am more in control of this divergent life of mine. It's that time of my life when it's imperative that i draw some concrete life goals, and aim. You know what they say, if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. I found out these past three months that any road is unfulfilling, and comprises mostly of lazy nights spent on the couch watching the tv waiting for life to hit me with meaning and purpose.
I've also been subconsciously pondering this concept of self-love. It's consuming me, and of late iv'e come to the realization that i don't care very much for myself. In other words, i put a whole lot of other things before myself: instant gratification, my boyfriend/the idea of love, dreaming vs doing, laziness, and what not. I've been slacking, me who was so focused on what i wanted in life. It came as an epiphany that i really don't know myself that well. I'd never really sat and thought about what i really want in life, about who i was in terms of principles, the person i wanted to become, the virtues i wanted to emulate, etc. At some point, it all became very blasé.
The decluttering helped be get rid of the junk, evaluate what i have at present, what i need to do to make sure i start this reconstruction and refining of my life on a clean slate.
Until tomorrow, bisous.
12.16.2009
Glow in the dark
It's been a few days now since school ended, and you would have thought, "YES!!!!!!"
No.
Each day flows seamlessly into another, and I wake up thinking, "Here goes nothing". Work for 7 hours, home on Facebook then Gmail then Facebook again, until my head is spinning so hard and i fall asleep. Up again at 2am, back into the same thing, alternating with blogs, thinking of all the things i could be doing, the things I'd planed to be doing, and all of it ending on this chair on this desk on this screen.
The mundaneness of life is shocking. It hit me in the face how insignificant I am to the larger picture. How insignificant without my family, Wethu and Fifi, the two people on the other side of the world who give a shit about me.
I stopped by a bookshop last night, checked out some Kanye West. I was looking for Thank You And You're Welcome but they didnt have it. They did have a collection of his lyrics from The College Dropout and another Glow In The Dark which was soooooo coool. Next time he's in the Chi, ima see him no matter how much it costs!! The book had pictures of his concerts in London Town which were so sick!! Ok I knew he is on that creative shit, but those pics were off da shizzle =]
The last page though was all black, no pictures nothing, simply the words, Don't Dim Your Personality. I loved that. I love this. Ima copy this.
So today I decided it's gon be a good day. No stressin', no hatin'. Straight up ballin'. Ya herd.
No.
Each day flows seamlessly into another, and I wake up thinking, "Here goes nothing". Work for 7 hours, home on Facebook then Gmail then Facebook again, until my head is spinning so hard and i fall asleep. Up again at 2am, back into the same thing, alternating with blogs, thinking of all the things i could be doing, the things I'd planed to be doing, and all of it ending on this chair on this desk on this screen.
The mundaneness of life is shocking. It hit me in the face how insignificant I am to the larger picture. How insignificant without my family, Wethu and Fifi, the two people on the other side of the world who give a shit about me.
I stopped by a bookshop last night, checked out some Kanye West. I was looking for Thank You And You're Welcome but they didnt have it. They did have a collection of his lyrics from The College Dropout and another Glow In The Dark which was soooooo coool. Next time he's in the Chi, ima see him no matter how much it costs!! The book had pictures of his concerts in London Town which were so sick!! Ok I knew he is on that creative shit, but those pics were off da shizzle =]
The last page though was all black, no pictures nothing, simply the words, Don't Dim Your Personality. I loved that. I love this. Ima copy this.
So today I decided it's gon be a good day. No stressin', no hatin'. Straight up ballin'. Ya herd.
12.14.2009
Steven Miesel
Ok.
So this is the guy who directs your life.No, not God per say, but the influence he has had in your life is significant.
Trust me.
Especially if you are reading this.
Born in NY in 1954, Steven Miesel has been at the forefront of fashion photography for the last two decades. He has shot every single cover of Vogue Italia and is a strong favourite for Vogue America. A protegee of Ana Wintour (another demi-goddess of the fashion industry you absolutely must know) and Franca Sozzani, Miesel is responsible for the immense success of supermodels such as Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Lara Stone, Liya Kedebe amongst others. Also, hairstylists Oribe Canales and Orlando Pita, make-up artists Francois Nars and Pat McGrath, are amongst some of the professionals who owe their rise in the industry to him.
Briefly, he has fashioned and moulded what you think
{does not}
defines beauty.
Here is a bit of the campaigns he has done in the last two years.
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